Oleh Much. Khoiri
DULGEMUK diundang untuk berbagi di depan mahasiswa (relatif) baru. Mahasiswa duduk lesehan di lantai joglo fakultas, membentuk huruf U. Sementara Dulgemuk, didampingi pembina dan dua mahasiswa senior, siap bertutur sedikit tentang tema yang tertera di backdrop di belakang punggungnya: Kuliah untuk apa?
“Teman-teman sekalian,” Dulgemuk memulai materinya. “Kuliah itu untuk ijazah dan ijab sah.” Mahasiswa, yang mengira bahwa sharing pembicara tamu akan serius pastilah tertawa dalam hati. Membenarkan. Sekarang mereka hanya tersenyum. Dulgemuk memandangi setiap penjuru. “Ya bener, kuliah itu untuk ijazah dan ijab sah.”
Dulgemuk melanjutkan: “Namun, kuliah, ijazah/ijab sah itu bukan merupakan hubungan kausalitas secara keseluruhan. Memang kuliah mesti diakhiri dengan memperoleh ijazah, tetapi tidak mesti komplit dengan ijab sah. Meski demikian, teman-teman, bagaimana bila kuliah mampu menggondol ijazah dan sekaligus mengajak calon istri/suami untuk ijab sah?”

Siluet wisudawan berdua. Gambar: Diambil dari PNGWing
“Nah, itu yang menarik. Pertanyaan itu provokatif dan menantang, tentunya. Mengapa demikian? Lulus kuliah, dalam arti menggondol ijazah, itu sebuah prestasi gemilang. Sekitar empat tahun lamanya mahasiswa S1 belajar dan berjuang menuntut ilmu, lalu akan di-yudisium dan diwisuda pada saat yang diharapkan. Saat hari wisuda, mahasiswa yang diwisuda mengenakan pakaian toga, sebuah pakaian kebesaran seorang wisudawan, itu sangat membanggakan.”
“Coba bayangkan. Baru wisuda dengan berangkat dan pulang sendiri (mungkin bersama kedua orangtua) saja, bahagianya bukan main. Apa tah lagi jika saat wisuda mahasiswa menggandeng calon suami/istri untuk berkenalan, sungkem dan berfoto dengan calon mertua. Bukankah hal ini menjadi nilai plus tersendiri. Dengan kondisi demikian, adanya ijab sah tinggal menunggu waktu belaka.”
Mereka [calon pasangan] tidak akan jatuh dari langit atau menyembul dari dalam perut bumi, melainkan harus diupayakan dan didoakan agar mendekat dan menjadi rezeki kita.
“Sekarang, ayo kita pikirkan sejenak. Jika kuliah untuk ijazah mesti dirancang kapan studi akan berlangsung (dengan pemrograman secara rutin setiap semester), maka ijab sah juga perlu dirancang sedemikian untuk sampai memperoleh calon suami/istri. Ingat, calon/istri hakikatnya juga merupakan rezeki. Mereka tidak akan jatuh dari langit atau menyembul dari dalam perut bumi, melainkan harus diupayakan dan didoakan agar mendekat dan menjadi rezeki kita. Ingat kata-kata ini, kalau perlu ditulis dan dijadikan status hehehe…”
“Barangkali ada yang menyanggah di sini. Jodoh kan di tangan Tuhan? Kalau memang jodoh, dia tak akan ke mana. Ayo kita renungkan sejenak. Nasi dan kita. Kita memang harus makan nasi. Namun, jangan beranggapan bahwa Tuhan akan menyuapi kita dengan tangan-Nya. Ada upaya kita sendiri untuk melakukannya. Kita harus menolong diri sendiri, atas izin-Nya. Kita harus ambil nasi, menambahnya dengan sayur dan lauk, dan menyuapi mulut kita sendiri. itu sama dengan jodoh. Calon jodoh kita ya ada di luar sana. Namun, kita perlu keluar untuk melihatnya, itu setidaknya. Kemudian, nanti menyapa, berkenalan, dan seterusnya.”
“Justru yang penting, teman-teman, kita perlu mengaca, merefleksi, mengapa ijazah dan ijab sah perlu dipikirkan untuk dicapai? Begini ya, perhatikan gedung joglo ini. Joglo ini dibangun berdasarkan rancangan yang cermat, bagaimana desainnya, bagaimana pembuatannya, berapa biayanya, kapan harus diselesaikan, untuk apa saja kelak digunakan, serta bagaimana perawatannya. Lha wong joglo saja dirancang seperti itu, masak masa depan, termasuk ijazah dan ijab sah, tidak dirancang? Setidaknya, sebatas upaya kita sebagai manusia.”
“Pertanyaannya, bagaimana merancang agar ijab sah juga diperoleh senyampang mengejar ijazah? Jika kuliah menuntut mahasiswa untuk memprogram mata kuliah per semester, kemudian mengikuti perkuliahan dengan segala tugas dan evaluasinya; maka, begitu pula dengan ijab sah. Untuk meraup ijab sah, mahasiswa perlu mengikuti prosesnya, mulai berkenalan, pedekate, serta “menembak” alias melamar calonnya.”
Jangan kira cinta tanpa ada ujiannya. Cinta itu bagian dari hidup. Kalau hidup ini penuh dengan ujian, maka tak ayal, cinta juga ada ujian.
“Ini urusan cinta, teman-teman. Jangan kira cinta tanpa ada ujiannya. Cinta itu bagian dari hidup. Kalau hidup ini penuh dengan ujian, maka tak ayal, cinta juga ada ujian. Apa saja ujian cinta, tentu tidak cukup didefinisikan secara teoretis belaka, tetapi harus dijalani dan dihayati sendiri oleh yang melakoninya. Setiap manusia memiliki sejarahnya sendiri, sebab memang manusia menghadapi ujian masing-masing, dan lulus dengan tingkat kelulusannya masing-masing.”
Setiap manusia memiliki sejarahnya sendiri, sebab memang manusia menghadapi ujian masing-masing, dan lulus dengan tingkat kelulusannya masing-masing.
“Persoalan menggelitiknya, berapa minggu, berapa bulan atau berapa tahun pendekatan yang dibutuhkan, itu bergantung pada “kecerdasan” cinta. Ada orang yang memiliki kecerdasan cinta yang tinggi, sehingga pendekatan tidak perlu waktu lama, mereka telah menjadi calon pasangan yang memahami satu sama lain. Sementara, orang yang bebal dalam pendekatan, mereka tetap tidak kunjung memahami watak, kepribadian, dan kebiasaan-kebiasaan si calon—sehingga mereka hanya kelihatan serius pendekatan, padahal tidak sama sekali. Hayo, siapa yang termasuk dalam kriteria ini?”
“Nah, sekarang Anda masih menghayati kuliah di kampus. Sambil menuntut ilmu dengan rajin, tidak ada salahnya Anda mendekati calon pasangan—selama dalam batas-batas “nyawa hukum”, yakni norma, agama, dan kesusilaan! Pilihlah calon pasangan yang akan membawamu kepada kebaikan hidup yang diridhai oleh Tuhan, bukan hanya untuk senang-senang (just for fun) belaka. Ingatlah pesan Pak Blantik, “Laki-laki sejati bukan dia yang tampak romantis menggandeng tanganmu jalan-jalan di mal, melainkan dia yang berani menulis nama dan tanda-tangannya di buku nikahmu.””
Ingatlah pesan Pak Blantik, “Laki-laki sejati bukan dia yang tampak romantis menggandeng tanganmu jalan-jalan di mal, melainkan dia yang berani menulis nama dan tanda-tangannya di buku nikahmu.”
“Bayangkan, dalam beberapa semester lagi, Anda akan berada di gedung Graha Wisuda untuk menjadi salah satu wisudawan—syukur wisudawan terbaik—di antara ribuan wisudawan lainnya. Lalu, ketika proses wisuda selesai, Anda mengajak calon pasanga menemui orangtua Anda, sebuah momen bersejarah untuk melangkah ke jenjang ijab sah.”
“Nah, sekarang, ada pertanyaan? Sedapatnya saya jawab secara lisan di sini ya. Namun, jika ada tanggapan, sanggahan, atau komentar apa saja, curahkan tanggapan Anda di kolom komentar.”
Kabede, Oktober 2022
BACA JUGA:
Tulisan yang telah tidak neko-neko dan mudah dicerna, semangat pagi Abah, Salam Sehat
Begitulah. Terima kasih, B Sriyatni, penjaga literasi Tuban.
Selalu senang baca tulisan pak Khoiri, pembahasan yang bisa bikin saya ketawa pagi-pagi. Terimakasih pak semangatnya untuk meng “ijab-sah” Pasangan nanti 😆
Terima kasih banyak, Mas Aqsa. Sehat selalu ya
Sebuah penyajian yang baru dari pak khoiri telah saya baca pagi hari ini. Mengusung tema ijab sah di dunia perkuliahan dengan menambahkan bumbu-bumbu penyemangat supaya (banyak) mahasiswa yang termotivasi untuk melakukan ijab sah saat wisuda nanti. Terimakasih pak khoiri atas motivasi paginya sangat keren 👍👍
Terima kasih banyak, Mas Bimo. Catatan yang bagus.
Tulisan bapak khoiri yang selalu menarik😁😁👍🏻
Tulisan bapak khoiri yang selalu menarik untuk dibaca 😁😁👍🏻
Anjani, terima kasih atas apresiasinya.
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